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You and your boyfriend James recently broke-up and you haven’t told your best friend, Louis Tomlinson, about it simply because he’s going to freak out and hunt down the guy that made you cry. He notices that you have been ignoring his phone calls and whenever you would answer one you would always sound depressed and quiet.
One Sunday afternoon you have finally decided that you’re going to tell him the very reason of your misery. You pick up your phone from the pile of disarranged pillows and sheets on your bed and text Louis saying :
‘Hey, Lou. Can you come over? I’ve got to tell you something. –{Y/N] x’
2 minutes later you receive Louis’ reply saying :
‘Be right over. Can’t wait to hear it. –Louis :)’
10 nerve wrecking minutes of waiting and you hear the doorbell ring. You rushed to the door, but before opening it you plastered a fake but hopefully convincing smile. Louis greets you with a warm hug and you can feel him smiling from the back of your head. You lead him to your room and you both sat down at the edge of the bed.
‘So, what was it that you have to tell me?’ Louis asks just before sending a small smile at you which you kindly returned.
‘I … Uhm … I-I know that you’re not gonna take it easily but …’ You nervously replied with a heart that was beating so fast, you can hardly keep track of it.
‘But what? Why? What happened [Y/N]?’ Louis asks with curiosity in his voice, and a worried expression in his angelic features.
‘Louis … James broke-up with me a week ago ——- please calm down!’ You said as Louis quickly stood up from his position at the news that you and James are over and is now pacing around the room.
‘Calm down? Calm down?! How can I calm down when the guy that makes you happy just broke up with you?’
‘Lou. I’m fine just …’ You lied as you looked down on the floor.
‘No! I’m gonna teach him a lesson to not break hearts, especially the one of my best friends’!’ Louis bellowed with anger in his tone and sounding like he meant every single word that he just said.
‘Louis please.’ You pleaded as the tears started to form in your eyes.
Louis noticed that tears in your eyes and finally decided to sit back down at the bed right beside you. He was so close that your knees were knocking with his.
‘I’m sorry. It’s just I can’t handle seeing you like this.’ He said in a much softer tone. All the while you allowed the tears to flow freely down your face.
‘This is why I didn’t wanna tell you, be-because I knew that you would act like this. Because you would freak out and just .. I-I can’t.’ You truthfully said as more tears escaped from your eyes.
Louis took a deep breath just before embracing you in a warm hug, into which you easily gave in, with his strong muscular arms wrapped around your small form.
‘Shhh. I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry.’ He whispered just close enough to your ear that your skin can feel his hot breath.
You couldn’t talk anymore from the crying and sobbing and just before you knew it the painful memories of you and your former boyfriend once again clouded your thoughts. Your tear streaked face was buried in Louis’ neck and you were inhaling his familiar scent with every breath you take.
Louis spent the next few minutes rocking you gently and slowly back and forth as more and more tears streamed down your face.
You couldn’t handle it anymore and you just completely broke down in Louis arms.
‘Just let it all go [Y/N]. I’m here for you .. I’ll look after you.’ Louis whispered in your ear just before kissing the top of your head.
The pain of the heartbreak was too much to handle but at the same time you’re glad that your best friend is helping you get through it. Your best friend, Louis Tomlinson, is the one and only person that has helped you get through anything. He has always been there for you, no exceptions and no matter what. Maybe, just maybe the one perfect person that you’re looking for is just standing right in front of you all along …
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“Just one more cut” you said to yourself as you enter the bathroom at 1am in the morning. It was chilly and you were all alone in the flat since Niall had to stay at a hotel with the boys for the night. You search for it, that one tiny little thing that makes you numb the pain. You search for the blade as you walked on the cold flooring of the baby-blue tiled bathroom.
You’re having those emotional nights again where all you do is cry at how the media and the fans hate you for being Niall Horan’s girlfriend. You love Niall with all your heart but sometimes the words people say about you just sting too much as you read and hear them.
Niall told you a million times already to stop knowing what the media has to say but sometimes you just can’t help yourself. Once in a while you would scroll through the mentions on Twitter, look up articles about you and Niall on Google and browse through videos of media men and women talk about your relationship with Niall. They hurt, they all hurt. All the negative things make you want to die and each time you read them you cry and it makes you hate yourself even more.
What Niall doesn’t know is that you still cut despite being told off by him. You cut to numb the pain, to make yourself forget about all the shit that people are saying about you. You cut in hopes of getting better but you know very well that all it does is destroy you, making you more addicted to it.
After pacing for some time you stared at your reflection in the mirror. Your eyes red and swollen from all the crying that you’ve been doing. Black lines on your face indicates that your mascara flowed smoothly along with your tears. You let out a deep breath before opening the cabinet behind the mirror. You search for the blade as tears start to form in your eyes once more, and you found it resting along with some of your hair pins and ponytail holders.
You took it and stared at it’s sharp edges before placing it near your wrist. You start to cry harder and your vision slowly gets blurred from the tears. You took a deep breath and you slowly ran the blade through your cold pale skin. You cringed at the pain of the blade making contact with your skin. You watched the blood poke out just before cutting another line through your wrist.
It was like ecstasy, the feeling just makes you numb for a good few seconds. You made a few more cuts just before sitting down on the floor. You cried, your cried really really hard just like all those nights before. You broke down and didn’t mind the fresh cuts in your wrist. You just wanted everything to stop…
** The following morning **
Niall Horan’s point of view
As I was making my way upstairs, I realized that it was awfully quiet. Too quiet for 1 in the afternoon. I thought that maybe [Y/N] was still asleep since it was a Sunday.
I opened the door to the bedroom and called for [Y/N] and there was no answer. My heart panicked a bit then I quickly paced to the bathroom and opened the door. There she was, [Y/N] was there lying soundly asleep on the bathroom floor. Her face a mess and there was dried blood on her wrist.
“[Y/N]! Love, please wake up! What happened to you?!” I nearly screamed at her. I couldn’t control myself, I love her and I didn’t wanna lose her.
“Niall, you’re home…” [Y/N] replied in a sleepy voice.
“Yeah, I just got back. What happened to you? You did it again, didn’t you? You cut your wrists again…” I said in a softer voice this time while examining the cuts on her wrist.
“I’m sorry..”
“I know, love. Please stop – please stop doing this. You’re not only hurting yourself but you’re also hurting me. It hurts me to see you do this to yourself” I said truthfully.
“I’m sorry, Niall. It’s just everything hurts. I love you and everything that’s going on between us, but the media and the fans. It all hurts, Niall and sometimes I can’t take it” [Y/N]’s words were accompanied with tears.
Just before she could let out another word, I hugged her. She easily gave in and I kissed her forehead.
“I’m sorry, Niall. I promise I won’t do it again. Please don’t leave me, I love you.” [Y/N] said in between sobs.
“I forgive you, babe. I won’t ever leave you, I’ll always be here. Always. I love you more than you’ll ever know.” I said to [Y/N] as I wiped the tears on her face.
“Come here, beautiful.” I said as I embraced her in another hug.
